a moment.

As I left at 6:15 tonight to go to a preschool board meeting, I also left my first-born daughter crying out for me, while her father consoled her. To those red cheeks, tears and reaching arms, I said, "I love you, goodbye my lovely," and shut the door.

I then came home at the tail end of bedtime, in just enough time to go in after daddy and give last kisses and goodnights. As I get up to leave, she touches my face and says, "lay down, mommy lay down." I lay my head next to hers for just a moment (I love those soft curls of hair and sweet hand on my cheek), but then rise and tell her that it is bedtime and she needs to stay in bed.

A few minutes later the door creaks open and I see my daughter staring out at me. I guide her by the back of that curly blonde head and tuck her into bed again. She asks me again to lay down, I use my consistent discipline tactics as I tell her that no, it is time for bed and that we can snuggle in the morning.

As I leave and wait for her to sleep, I remember that sweet request and wish I had just laid there a moment longer.

The door creaks open again.

I don't hesitate (thinking, here is my chance, I am throwing 'discipline' out the window at the moment - I hope not to pay for this later - to simply love on my daughter) and this time pick her up in my arms and carry her into her room. Standing, I just sway and hug her tight as she lays her head on my shoulder, wraps her flannel pj'ed arms around my neck and rests one leg on each side of baby sister's belly. In between a few sways, I kiss her cheek several times. We don't say anything but instead just embrace. She doesn't pull away and I just hold on longer. Finally after giving her a solid, I-want-you-to-always-know-you-are-protected-and-cared-for-deeply squeeze, I lay her back down in bed and tuck her in for the night.

I love you my darling bentley brooke.